6 - How to Ask Questions That Open Doors
Practical questioning techniques to draw out information, resolve confusion and build trust.
Some people ask questions to test others. Some ask questions to catch mistakes. But the best leaders? They ask questions to unlock insight.
In a New Zealand SME, where resources are tight and teams are close-knit, the ability to ask a good question is one of the most powerful and underused business tools available. It costs nothing. It doesn't require a system. Yet it can shift a relationship, unlock a problem, save time and spark ideas - all in under a minute.
But not all questions are created equal. Many of us fall back on habits we’ve picked up over time, questions that are vague, closed, or unintentionally loaded. These kinds of questions can shut people down or steer conversations off track.
Let’s fix that.
Why Questions Matter More Than Answers
In leadership, the goal isn’t to have all the answers. It’s to help your team uncover the right ones. Good questions do three things -
Draw out clarity – They help the other person (and you) understand what’s really going on.
Invite participation – People speak more openly when the question feels safe and purposeful.
Build trust – Being asked a thoughtful question shows someone values your input.
Whether you’re troubleshooting, coaching, checking for understanding or making a decision, the right question can clear a path through the fog.
The Questioning Gap
Too many workplace questions fall into these common traps -
Closed questions - “Did you finish that?” (Yes/no answers, minimal insight)
Leading questions - “Don’t you think this should’ve been caught earlier?” (Loaded with blame)
Assumptive questions - “Why didn’t you follow the instructions?” (Misses the chance to ask whether the instructions were even clear)
These questions limit thinking. They often provoke defensiveness. And they rarely get you the full picture.
Let’s explore a better way.
Three Question Types That Build Connection and Clarity
1. Open Questions
These are designed to invite more than a one-word answer. They start with what, how, or where.
Examples -
“What are your thoughts on this approach?”
“How do you see this playing out?”
“What would help make this smoother next time?”
Open questions signal curiosity. They give people space to speak freely and offer insight you may not have thought of.
2. Clarifying Questions
Used when things feel murky, vague or rushed.
Examples -
“When you say it’s ‘nearly done’, what’s left to do?”
“Can you give me an example of what you mean by ‘frustrated’?”
“What does success look like from your perspective?”
Clarifying questions save time, reduce miscommunication and avoid assumptions.
3. Reflective Questions
These help people explore their own thinking or draw lessons from experience.
Examples -
“Looking back, what would you do differently?”
“What did you learn from that experience?”
“What’s standing in the way right now?”
These are especially useful in coaching, mentoring or reviewing performance.
Real-Life Example - From Guessing to Guiding
Claire runs a furniture business in Whakatāne. Her workshop foreman, Nikau, kept making last-minute changes to production schedules without telling the admin team. Orders got muddled. Clients were frustrated.
At first, Claire asked - “Why didn’t you update the team?” Nikau replied defensively - “I was flat out. I didn’t think it mattered.”
She reframed the conversation - “What’s your process when priorities change?”
Nikau paused. “Honestly? I’ve been making the call in the moment. I didn’t realise how much it was affecting them.”
From there, they built a quick system. One good question created a shared solution and strengthened trust along the way.
Make Questions a Habit, Not a One-Off
Here’s how to build a question-first mindset into your everyday leadership.
1. Use a curious tone
Even the best question can fall flat if the tone is clipped or loaded. “What happened?” can sound like an accusation or a genuine invitation. Check yourself.
2. Ask one question at a time
Stacking multiple questions at once - “What went wrong, who was involved and why didn’t you tell me sooner?” - leaves people overwhelmed. Slow it down.
3. Follow the thread
If someone gives a surface-level answer, gently follow up. “Can you walk me through that?” or “What makes you say that?” can take you deeper.
4. Give it time
Not everyone responds instantly. Leave space. Silence after a question isn’t failure. It’s thinking time.
5. Write down go-to questions
Have a short list of open, clarifying and reflective questions you can draw on in meetings, one-on-ones or client conversations.
Powerful Questions to Keep Handy
Here are a few you might start using straight away -
“What do you need from me right now?”
“What’s the biggest risk you see in this plan?”
“What’s not sitting right about this?”
“What are we assuming that might not be true?”
“Where do we go from here?”
A Word on Tone and Trust
In a small team, tone matters. A great question asked with sarcasm or frustration won’t open doors. It’ll slam them shut.
Practice asking with real interest, especially when the stakes are high. If you’re too annoyed or tired to do that, take a pause and come back later.
Final Thought
Good questions aren’t soft. They’re sharp. They cut through noise, stress and surface talk. In a busy SME, they help you lead with focus instead of firefighting.
If you want better answers, ask better questions. Not to catch people out, but to lift them up.
In the next article, we’ll explore how to listen like it matters - because asking is only half the equation. Listening is where the magic really happens.
If you’d like a confidential, free of charge, free of obligation conversation about your business, here’s how to get me.
📞 Phone +64 275 665 682
✉️ Email john.luxton@regenerationhq.co.nz
🌐 Contact Form www.regenerationhq.co.nz/contact
If you’d like to read more RegenerationHQ thinking on SME business and other things, go here – www.regenerationhq.co.nz/articlesoverview
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Supporting NZ SME Owners to Exit Well, Lead Better and Build Business Value.