Concrete for the Criminals, Crumbs for the Rest
New Zealand’s government claims it can’t afford housing, healthcare, or food security - yet billions flow freely into prisons and policing. This article exposes the staggering contradiction of starving social services while building cages, and why it’s a moral and fiscal disaster.
The Funeral for Wellbeing - Nicola Willis Buries Humanity in a Shallow GDP Grave
The repeal of wellbeing provisions from New Zealand’s Public Finance Act marks a chilling shift - people no longer count. Nicola Willis has buried social outcomes beneath fiscal spreadsheets, dismissing poverty, mental health and housing as “distractions.” This article unpacks why ignoring wellbeing is not just negligent - it’s misanthropic.
The Sad Truth About Local Government
New Zealand’s local body elections have become a theatre of apathy, where turnout collapses and candidates from the “Universally Inoffensive Party” promise little while delivering less. Behind the beige slogans, communities face neglected infrastructure, rising rates, and councils repurposed as property speculators’ offices. This article asks the only question that matters: who actually gives a damn about the street we live on?
The Great Kiwi Business Extinction
New Zealand is facing the fastest collapse of small business confidence in modern history. In the first half of 2025 alone, 1,270 businesses have gone under - 12% more than last year’s record. Behind the numbers are unpaid suppliers, lost jobs, and shattered communities. This is not the economic rescue package voters were promised - it’s a demolition job carried out in plain sight.
The Empathy Emulator - Christopher Luxon’s Awkward Stab at Humanity
Christopher Luxon’s conference speech was meant to show empathy - but instead, it exposed a deeper disconnect. In this biting satirical analysis, we explore why leadership without lived experience feels like a spreadsheet trying to cry. A must-read for those questioning whether “optimism” is enough in today’s Aotearoa.
How Our Betters Taught Us To Distrust Them And Blame Ourselves – a forlorn fantasy
Imagine a New Zealand where governance begins with listening, not branding. This counterfactual explores a reimagined Aotearoa where solo mums co-design welfare, nurses lead health reform, rangatahi redefine civics, and wealth is finally taxed fairly. Trust isn’t taught - it’s shared.
How Our Betters Taught Us To Distrust Them And Blame Ourselves – the ugly truth
When public services fail, the powerful don’t fix them - they educate the poor on why they’re wrong to be upset. This satire skewers the idea that New Zealanders just need better civics knowledge to rebuild trust in a system designed to exclude them. It’s not misunderstanding that causes distrust - it’s lived experience.
It’s A Matter Of Values - Imagine If The Govt. Had Any?
In this hopeful counterfactual, New Zealand turns away from fast-track deregulation and embraces a regenerative, inclusive future. Through co-governance, environmental stewardship, and citizen participation, the article outlines how Aotearoa could lead the world in balancing prosperity, justice and climate responsibility.
It’s A Matter Of Values - Except When The Govt. Has None.
Recent reforms like the Fast-Track Approvals Act are enabling unprecedented environmental deregulation in New Zealand. Forests, rivers, and democratic safeguards are being stripped away under cover of urgency. This article exposes the coordinated legislative agenda threatening Aotearoa’s natural and civic heritage and calls on citizens to resist the sell-off.
When NZ Didn’t Capitulate To The Smoking and Vaping Deathmongers – a forlorn fantasy
What if New Zealand’s Government had stood firm in 2024 and upheld the Smokefree Generation law? This counterfactual explores a world where leadership meant protecting children, honouring Te Tiriti, and resisting corporate pressure. A powerful imagined future, one where clean air, public health and tino rangatiratanga were chosen over political convenience.
When NZ Capitulated To The Smoking & Vaping Deathmongers – an ugly truth
A scathing exposé on the New Zealand Government’s repeal of the Smokefree Generation law, revealing the political deals, corporate influence, and moral failures that led to a public health disaster.
David Seymour Doesn’t Wave Goodbye To Our Water - a fantasy
Imagine if New Zealand treated its freshwater as taonga, not just trade. This counterfactual piece explores a world where the Government enacts bold reforms to the Overseas Investment Act -making water extraction subject to sustainability tests, iwi consent, and community benefit. Forestry gains real stewardship standards. The result? Aotearoa reclaims environmental sovereignty, balances investment with intergenerational wellbeing, and builds a legacy worth protecting.
David Seymour Waves Goodbye To Our Water
In a move that defies public sentiment and ecological logic, the New Zealand Government is scrapping protections that once shielded our freshwater and forests from foreign exploitation. Associate Finance Minister David Seymour’s changes to the Overseas Investment Act will allow faster approvals for water bottling and loosen forestry safeguards — all in the name of global competitiveness. But who benefits when Aotearoa’s aquifers are up for grabs? This satirical article explores the consequences with humour, sharp insight, and local voices who’ve lived the fallout.
Back To Basics - Forward Into Confusion
In a bold new chapter of local government reform, the New Zealand Government claims to be handing power back to councils, while quietly tightening its grip. This satirical analysis exposes the contradictions, confusion, and condescension at the heart of recent announcements. From hollow funding promises to bureaucratic finger-wagging, it's devolution in name and centralisation in practice.
Why I’m Leaving Twitter
Twitter used to be where thought leaders and meme lords met in a chaotic but compelling digital town square. Today, under Elon Musk’s leadership, it’s morphed into something darker, a rage-fuelled revenue machine where progressive voices are collateral damage. In this personal piece, I explain why I’m logging off, not because I’ve stopped caring, but because I care too much.
How To Prepare For Climate Change - Maybe Like This?
What if New Zealand chose justice over abandonment in its climate adaptation plan? This hopeful counterfactual explores a visionary policy shift, where the Government backs vulnerable communities with fair relocation support, honouring manaakitanga and collective responsibility.
How To Prepare For Climate Change - No, Not Like This
In 2046, as climate disasters worsen, the New Zealand government plans to end all property buyouts for homes affected by floods or sea-level rise. This satirical analysis from RegenerationHQ exposes the policy’s cruel logic, warns of future ghost towns, and argues for collective responsibility in the face of climate breakdown.
Wrecking Ball Politics - what might have been
What if New Zealand’s post-2023 government chose collaboration over chaos? This counterfactual explores a political future where reform was done with care, not vengeance. From strengthening Select Committees to preserving the Smokefree Generation policy, this imagined timeline offers a hopeful blueprint for steady, regenerative governance.
Wrecking Ball Politics - the reality
In post-2023 New Zealand, democracy feels less like a system and more like a demolition derby. Over 20 major reforms have been reversed in under a year, public consultation has become performative, and consensus-building is out the window. Wrecking Ball Politics pulls no punches in this satirical but sobering review of where our governance is heading – and what it’s costing us.
Why I’m X-ing Twitter
Twitter used to be where thought leaders and meme lords met in a chaotic but compelling digital town square. Today, under Elon Musk’s leadership, it’s morphed into something darker, a rage-fuelled revenue machine where progressive voices are collateral damage. In this personal piece, I explain why I’m logging off, not because I’ve stopped caring, but because I care about civility and robust debate.