8 - What Your Body Is Saying (Even When You’re Not)

Practical guide to body language, with examples relevant to NZ workplaces

Words matter, but in any conversation, they’re only part of the message.

Your tone, posture, facial expressions and gestures are doing a lot of the heavy lifting. Sometimes they reinforce your words. Other times they quietly contradict them.

In a New Zealand SME, where teams are often small and informal, people pick up on non-verbal cues quickly. They may not call it out, but they feel it. Body language sets the tone of the conversation before a single word is spoken.

Understanding what your body is saying and learning to read others, can help you avoid misunderstandings, build trust and lead with clarity.

Let’s explore how.

Why Body Language Matters in Business

You can say all the right words and still lose someone if your body is giving off the wrong signals. You might say, “I’m happy to help,” while glancing at your phone.
Or, “Let’s talk it through,” while standing with your arms crossed and your jaw clenched.

We’re hardwired to notice these signals. If someone’s words and body don’t match, we believe the body.

This isn’t just about formal presentations. It’s about -

• How you enter a meeting room

• How you sit during a one-on-one

• Whether you make eye contact while giving feedback

• How you respond when someone disagrees

• What your face is doing when you think no one’s looking

Body language happens whether you intend it or not. The key is learning to use it consciously.

Common Body Language Signals and What They Say

Here’s a simple breakdown of body language cues you’ll see (and give) in daily work life and how they’re likely to be read in a New Zealand context.

1. Posture

• Open posture (shoulders relaxed, chest open, arms uncrossed) - signals confidence, approachability and presence.

• Closed posture (arms crossed, hunched forward, looking down) - may signal defensiveness, discomfort, or disinterest.

• Leaning slightly forward - shows interest and engagement.

• Leaning away or turning side-on - can suggest discomfort or detachment.

2. Eye Contact

• Steady eye contact - signals confidence and sincerity.

• Too much - can feel intense or aggressive.

• Too little - may come across as evasive, uncertain, or dismissive.

In New Zealand, sustained eye contact is generally seen as a sign of honesty, but it’s always important to adjust for cultural comfort levels, especially in Māori and Pasifika contexts, where respect can also be shown through brief or downturned gaze.

3. Facial Expressions

• Furrowed brows, tight jaw, or eye rolls - communicate frustration or judgement, even if you don’t say a word.

• Smiles, raised eyebrows and nods - create warmth and signal encouragement.

People notice micro-reactions, especially when delivering news or handling tension. Your face is a message board, use it with care.

4. Hand Gestures

• Open hands, palms visible - signal honesty and openness.

• Pointing, chopping, or abrupt gestures - can come across as controlling or angry.

• Fidgeting, tapping, or wringing hands - often signal stress or uncertainty.

You don’t need to choreograph your hands but do be aware of what they’re doing while you speak.

5. Tone and Pace

Technically verbal, but tone carries non-verbal weight. A flat, rushed tone can undercut enthusiasm. A calm, steady voice builds confidence. A sarcastic or sharp tone can derail trust, even if your words sound supportive.

A Story From the Warehouse Floor

Arun manages a packaging team in a Palmerston North distribution centre. One of his team leads, Casey, had been giving updates that sounded upbeat, but morale in the team was clearly low.

Arun started sitting in on morning huddles. He noticed that Casey said all the right things - “Let’s keep it moving, team,” “We’ve got this”, but her arms were always crossed, her eyes on the floor, her tone flat.

After a quiet chat, he learned Casey was frustrated about unresolved issues with equipment delays. She didn’t want to complain, but the stress was leaking through her body language.

By addressing the issue and supporting her to lead from a more open, energised stance, team mood lifted almost immediately.

Her words hadn’t changed much. But her presence had.

Reading Others Without Jumping to Conclusions

Body language isn’t an exact science. People have different baselines. Some are naturally animated. Others are calm and still. Someone might cross their arms because they’re cold, not closed off.

The goal isn’t to judge - it’s to notice. Then ask.

Try -

• “Hey, I’m picking up that you’re a bit unsure, am I reading that right?”

• “You looked surprised when I said that. What’s your take?”

Noticing gives people the chance to speak for themselves, instead of you assuming the story.

Improving Your Own Non-Verbal Presence

You don’t need to fake anything. But here are five simple habits that can lift your impact -

1. Check your arrival
The way you enter a space sets the tone. Stand tall. Breathe. Make eye contact. Walk in like the conversation matters.

2. Ground your feet
If you're standing to speak, plant your feet hip-width apart. It helps you feel steady and look confident.

3. Relax your face
Before a meeting, take a moment to relax your jaw and eyebrows. A soft face invites connection.

4. Match your message
If you’re offering support, let your voice and face show it. If you’re delivering tough news, let your body be steady and open, not cold or abrupt.

5. Film yourself (if you're brave enough)
Record yourself speaking for two minutes on a topic you know well. Watch with the sound off. What’s your body saying?

Final Thought

People may not remember everything you said, but they’ll remember how you made them feel and a lot of that feeling comes from your non-verbal presence.

In small teams and tight client relationships, being able to read and send the right signals builds trust, reduces friction and lifts performance.

You don’t need to perform. You just need to be aware. Your body’s already speaking. Make sure it’s saying what you intend.

Next up, we move into Section Three - Turning Intent Into Impact - starting with how to speak with clarity, confidence and respect, even when the topic is hard.

If you’d like a confidential, free of charge, free of obligation conversation about your business, here’s how to get me.

📞 Phone +64 275 665 682
✉️ Email john.luxton@regenerationhq.co.nz
🌐 Contact Form www.regenerationhq.co.nz/contact

If you’d like to read more RegenerationHQ thinking on SME business and other things, go here – www.regenerationhq.co.nz/articlesoverview

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Supporting NZ SME Owners to Exit Well, Lead Better and Build Business Value.