7. You First

A Practical Guide to Practicing Vulnerability in LeadershipA slightly uncomfortable but surprisingly effective field guide for humans in charge

Right. You’ve read the series. You’ve nodded along. Maybe even winced once or twice in recognition.

You’ve seen that vulnerability isn’t weakness, but strength in real clothes (sometimes slightly threadbare ones).

So now what?

This isn’t just a philosophy. It’s a practice. Which means it needs to show up in what you do - not just what you believe.

That’s where this guide comes in. Below are a handful of practical, real-world ways to bring vulnerability into your leadership, starting now. No vision statements. No kumbaya circles (unless you’re into that). Just solid, doable stuff.

1. Tell the truth sooner

You don’t need a grand confession. Just get in the habit of saying what’s actually going on - with the work, the team, or yourself.

Try saying -

• “I don’t know, but I’ll find out.”

• “That didn’t go how I expected.”

• “This is hard for me too.”

Why it matters -
It signals safety. It gives others permission And it’s a shortcut to real conversations.

2. Admit one thing a week

Pick one thing you’re currently unsure about, nervous to own, or tempted to bluff through. Share it - in a meeting, one-on-one, or even in writing.

It could be -

• A mistake you made

• A goal you’re struggling with

• A blind spot you’re learning to see

Why it matters -
Regular, small admissions build trust far more than one-off, emotional speeches.

3. Stop polishing your language

Speak like a person. Ditch the jargon. Use words your kids would understand.

Instead of saying -
“We’re looking to action a multi-phase optimisation strategy.”

Try -
“We need to fix a few things, and we’ll do it in stages.”

Why it matters -
Clear language = trust. It also stops people from nodding along when they have no idea what you just said.

4. Ask for help - and mean it

Not as a humblebrag. Not as a “what do you think, but I’m doing it anyway.” Actually ask.

Try -

• “What do you see that I might be missing?”

• “I’d really value your input on this.”

• “Can you show me how you’d do it?”

Why it matters -
It shows respect. It also models that good leadership doesn’t mean going it alone.

5. Own your emotions

This one’s tricky. But it’s powerful.

Try saying -

• “That meeting rattled me.”

• “I’m proud of how we handled that.”

• “I’m feeling frustrated and I want to figure out why.”

Why it matters -
Emotional honesty makes space for emotional intelligence. People will take their cues from you - so give them permission to feel without fear.

6. Respond, don’t rescue

When someone else is vulnerable, don’t rush to fix it. Don’t pivot. Don’t wrap it up with a bow. Just be with it.

Say -

• “Thanks for sharing that.”

• “That makes sense.”

• “I appreciate your honesty.”

Why it matters -
Your calm presence makes future sharing possible. Vulnerability is contagious - if it feels safe.

7. Write one truly honest update

Whether it’s a company-wide email, a Slack post, or a short talk at your next all-hands - write something honest.

Drop the spin. Don’t bury the hard stuff in euphemisms. Speak like you actually feel.

Why it matters -
It sets a new tone. Even one well-timed message can shift culture. People don’t forget when their leader stops performing and starts connecting.

8. Ask this question in your next team meeting

“What’s one thing we’re pretending is fine but probably isn’t?”

Let them answer. And if no one does, go first.

Why it matters -
Vulnerability isn’t a concept. It’s a catalyst. This one question opens a door you might not even know was closed.

A quick word to finish

This kind of leadership isn’t always comfortable. You will mess it up. You’ll overshare, or under-share, or say the wrong thing. You’ll wish you’d stayed quiet, or wish you’d spoken up sooner.

Good. That means you’re trying.

Because vulnerability in leadership isn’t about being flawless. It’s about being first. First to go real. First to say sorry. First to try courage instead of control.

You go first And watch what follows.

One Last Thing - For the Leader Still Standing on the Edge

If you’ve made it this far and you’re still not quite sure - still hesitating - that’s OK.

This stuff isn’t easy. Vulnerability is not a quick rebrand or a LinkedIn post with a brave face and a hashtag. It’s not a clever tool for culture change. It’s something much harder.

Much more real.

It’s standing on the lip of a high diving board - looking down, heart hammering, every part of you screaming to climb back down and do something safer. Something more familiar. Something that won’t make you feel so exposed.

That’s where a lot of leaders stand. Right there on the edge. Looking over. Knowing deep down that the old way isn’t working - not for their teams, not for their own wellbeing - but still wondering if they really need to jump.

Here’s what I’ll say.

You don’t need to swan dive with grace and style. You don’t need to impress anyone on the way down. You don’t need to make it look good.

You just need to go.

One small moment of honesty. One real conversation. One human truth told plainly.

That’s what changes things.

Because when you do - when you step off that edge, wobbly knees and all - you’ll realise something that only becomes clear on the way down –

You’re not falling. You’re finally leading.

At the bottom? That’s where your team is waiting.

Not with a scorecard. Not with a checklist. Just with open hearts, ready to follow someone brave enough to go first.

So. You don’t have to dive today.

But when you’re ready?

We’ll be right here, cheering.