A Broke But Not Broken Pope Brian
The Art & Science of Professional Victimhood
Right. Let’s take a moment to mourn the world’s most relentlessly persecuted man (apart from Donald Trump, obviously) Pope Brian, patron saint of being “silenced” at full volume.
Because when you read a liquidator’s first report for a Destiny-linked entity showing $2,681,147.72 owed, a glorious $190.78 left in the bank, and the reason for liquidation described as “disputes with Inland Revenue”, the only reasonable conclusion is that this is not about money or accountability at all. No, no. This is about oppression. Pure, targeted, spiritual oppression. The kind that happens when a man is forced to endure the indignity of reality’s basic admin systems. Invoices. Courts. Tax. The cruelest instruments of persecution ever invented.
And truly, the tragedy is not the debt. The tragedy is that Brian Tamaki has been made to suffer in a country where he simply cannot get a fair hearing. A country where his voice is never amplified. Where he never appears in headlines. Where no-one ever quotes him. Where the media, in its heartless tyranny, refuses to provide him with the kind of platform he deserves, like… any platform at all, anywhere, ever, repeatedly.
It’s especially hard when you consider the staggering disadvantage he faces - wealth.
There are few burdens heavier than the spiritual pain of building a brand of righteous certainty while the mundane world keeps rudely asking questions like, “Where did the money go?” and “Why is this entity in liquidation?” and “How does a commercial property investment structure end up with nearly $2.7 million owed?” These are the kinds of hateful, divisive, bigoted questions that make it almost impossible for a man to do what he does best - frame himself as the injured party while punching down with both hands.
The report paints a picture of a non-trading entity with no assets and a long memory in the form of creditors. Preferential creditors are listed, including IRD, and a plumbing and bathroom centre gets dragged into the story too, with Destiny’s representative later disputing any debt to them. The director is “assisting” with enquiries into the company’s financial affairs. Which is lovely. Nothing says “transparent and wholesome” like the phrase “enquiries into the financial affairs” appearing in the same paragraph as $190.78 in the bank.
But again, we must not be distracted by such trivialities. We need to focus on the real persecution - the emotional trauma of being disagreed with.
Imagine the daily agony of having queer people exist in public without apologising. Imagine the relentless violence of other religions also existing. Imagine waking up each morning to the horror of pluralism, diversity and a secular state that doesn’t automatically treat your personal theology as national law. If you listen carefully, you can almost hear the tiny violin warming up.
Then there’s the conspiracy, because of course there’s a conspiracy.
Not a real one, mind you, with evidence and boring paperwork. A spicy one. A cinematic one. A glittering, moustache-twirling coalition of Everyone He Disagrees With™ - the Illuminati, George Soros, “the liberals”, the Department of Not Letting Me Do Whatever I Want, and a shadowy guild of people who insist that if you run entities and move money around the place, tax authorities might eventually show up like the grim reaper in a suit.
It’s a hard life, being this oppressed, while also being so consistently unable to stop talking.
The article notes the Wiri site where the church had been based since 2014, and the move to renting venues (which is framed as typical church behaviour, fair enough). There are references to earlier financial statements where liabilities exceeded assets. There’s the IRD application, the High Court decision, the official assignee, the whole dreary pageant of accountability and still, through it all, Pope Brian endures. Like a martyr. Like a candle in the wind. Like a talkback caller who’s been asked politely to stop yelling at the host and has taken this as proof of censorship.
What makes this performance so breathtaking is the moral inversion at its centre.
This is a movement that loves hierarchy, certainty, and judgement. It thrives on dividing the world into righteous and unrighteous. It has had years of controversy, and not the “oops I used the wrong font” kind - the kind that follows you around because you keep producing it like a factory line. Yet when consequences loom, when the IRD knocks, when legal processes grind forward, suddenly the story becomes: we are being attacked.
Attacked by whom?
By the usual villains - the State, the media, the woke, the weak, the different, the unapproved, the unrepentant, the people who won’t sit down and shut up and accept sermons as policy and the truly unforgivable enemy - a society that increasingly refuses to pretend that bullying is “leadership” and bigotry is “bravery”.
So yes, let’s offer a deeply respectful, profoundly sarcastic salute.
Despite being so terribly, so uniquely, so biblically victimised, Pope Brian has somehow managed to fight through the demons - the demons of accountability, basic financial scrutiny and a country that’s run out of patience for holy tantrums. He stands tall, still spouting venom, still mistaking attention for persecution, still auditioning for the role of Most Silenced Man Alive while continuing to be loudly, repeatedly heard.
In that sense, at least, he is an inspiration.
Because if there’s one thing New Zealand can count on, even when entities collapse, debts mount, and the courts get involved, it’s this - you can’t shut him up.
Much to the disappointment of a country that, frankly, can’t take much more of his bullshit.
If this struck a chord, you will find more hard truths, sharp edges and the occasional laugh at www.regenerationhq.co.nz/satire. We can do better and we should expect better, starting today.