Sink The Ferries
A Case Study in State Sanctioned Sabotage
Somewhere in the bowels of government (and by bowels, I really do mean rectum), a bright spark had an idea - What if we abandoned a near-billion-dollar investment, wasted half a billion in the process, ruined the supply chain between islands, then declared it a fiscal win?
It takes a rare cocktail of arrogance and delusion to not only pour public money into a burning barrel but to strike the match and call it reform.
The Inter-Island Resilience Connection (iReX) was meant to modernise our ferry system. Two hybrid, rail-enabled ships, upgraded ports, seamless freight movement. Logical, necessary, future-focused. So naturally it had to go. In its place? A shrug, a press release, and a vague plan to “do something else later, maybe.”
The psychology here is fascinating. This is the mind that reads “fixing a broken system” and hears “burn it all down.” It’s the bureaucratic brainworm that sees half a billion in sunk costs not as a warning sign, but as a reason to stop before something competent accidentally happens. It's damage control by demolition.
And now that this masterstroke is done, where next for the Destruction Department? A few ideas
KiwiRail Modernisation – Why invest in rail when we can stick to trucks and potholes?
Health IT Upgrades – Scrap the digital health record programme and go back to manila folders. Retro is in.
Three Waters – Turn it into a single trough and let the highest bidder drink first.
Climate Infrastructure – Bulldoze the flood barriers and put up a sign: “We tried.”
We used to joke that government couldn't organise a ferry across Cook Strait. Turns out, the punchline is now policy.
Just In!! – Ministerial Press Release
Ministry of Intermodal Transition Synergies
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
"Strategic Fiscal Pivot Delivers Outcome-Focused Reprioritisation"
WELLINGTON – The Government is proud to announce the successful sunsetting of the Inter-Island Resilience Connection (iReX) initiative, marking a bold leap forward in agile infrastructure non-deployment.
This decisive step reflects our commitment to transformational budgeteering, achieving maximum discontinuation value through the deactivation of over 60% of the planned delivery roadmap. By reallocating previously allocated capital into a future-agnostic holding pattern, we have realised a net optimisation of intermodal opportunity costs.
“The decision to cease investment in intergenerational maritime continuity was not taken lightly,” said Associate Minister for Transport Adjacency, Gareth Marginson. “But ultimately, it was clear that continuing would risk achieving functional outcomes, something we are determined to avoid in this economic climate.”
While $517 million has already been expertly disbursed across a wide matrix of non-dock-related interfaces, and a further $300 million is earmarked for contractual decompression and reputational mitigation, the project has exceeded expectations in terms of its ability to not deliver.
“We’re proud to have led the world in abortive transport modernisation,” said Infrastructure Efficiency Spokesperson Tasha McSilo. “No other OECD nation has de-implemented this effectively. It’s a masterclass in unbuilding.”
Looking ahead, the Government is committed to exploring scalable inaction across a range of sectors, including:
HealthTech De-integration Pathways
Climate Resilience De-Funding Accelerators
Education Platform Dilution Initiatives
Housing Affordability Deferral Models
This strategic realignment signals a new era in governance—one where promises are kept firmly in the realm of theory, and outcomes remain proudly aspirational.
ENDS
For more information, contact -
Office of Circular Reasoning and Budgetary Vibe Management
press@ministerialreversals.govt.nz