When Bigots Collide
Brian Tamaki, David Seymour and the Battle for New Zealand’s Moral Low Ground
In an unholy collision of self-righteousness and self-delusion, two of New Zealand’s most theatrically dangerous men have finally turned on each other. Brian Tamaki, the leather-jacketed messiah of the Destiny Church, took to Queen Street like a crusader for bigotry, dragging a ragtag convoy of flag-burning zealots to decry immigration, multiculturalism, and any religion that doesn’t start with “Christian” and end with “fundamentalist.”
Meanwhile, David Seymour, fresh from his own cameo at the Oxford Union, where he tried to explain colonisation as a minor misunderstanding between consenting nations, emerged as the unlikely voice of reason. Yes, that David Seymour. The one whose entire political brand is built on punching down with a polite smile and an actuarial disdain for nuance. He called Tamaki’s actions “un‑Kiwi,” which is rich coming from the man who wants to neuter Te Tiriti o Waitangi and believes empathy should be privatised.
This is what happens when narcissistic ideologues with similar worldviews fall out: they start accusing each other of being extreme. Seymour and Tamaki are like two sides of a very unfortunate coin - heads we lose, tails we lose faster. One wraps his extremism in black leather and Bible verses; the other prefers spreadsheets, faux-logic, and the dog whistles of “meritocracy” and “fiscal discipline.” But make no mistake, both men believe in a country where those who don’t fit the mould—brown, poor, queer, foreign, female, or just inconvenient, should know their place, preferably outside the corridors of power or somewhere quiet, unseen and economically productive.
Tamaki’s latest outburst, a protest dressed in Old Testament cosplay, complete with chants about "Christian values" and a finale of setting rainbow flags and symbols of non-Christian faiths alight was a performance of fascism in its purist form. He and his Destiny cohort want a theocracy, not a democracy. A place where the scriptures they selectively interpret become law, and dissenters are re-educated or cast out. The spectacle of burning symbols representing peace, pride, and pluralism was not a protest - it was a tantrum with torches.
But Seymour, not one to miss a chance to stake the moral high ground while standing in the mire, pounced. “Un‑Kiwi,” he declared. “There’s a lot wrong with Brian Tamaki’s attitudes.” This from a man who recently defended debating whether anyone can be illegal on stolen land by calling colonisation “resolved” through legal settlements and mutual understanding. This from a man whose party advocates for dismantling Māori political rights in the name of "one law for all." Seymour denouncing Tamaki is like a kettle calling the pot an extremist, then selling tickets to the bonfire.
Let’s not forget that both men trade in fear. Tamaki’s favourite flavours are Islam, rainbow flags and anything vaguely woke. Seymour prefers a subtler seasoning - Māori sovereignty, bureaucrats, and state spending on anything that helps the vulnerable. Both frame their enemies as threats to civilisation. Both claim to be defenders of truth. And both know exactly how to exploit the insecurities of their respective audiences, one preaching apocalypse, the other austerity.
What truly binds them is their contempt for shared responsibility. Tamaki dreams of a nation ruled by patriarchal decree, where faith trumps fact. Seymour envisions a nation governed by spreadsheets, where empathy is an optional extra, and the market is the final moral arbiter. Neither model leaves room for compassion, equity, or cultural humility. Neither offers hope to the poor, the marginalised, or the historically dispossessed. And both pretend they’re fighting for freedom—freedom to impose, to exclude, to erase.
When Seymour critiques Tamaki, he doesn’t do it from a place of genuine liberal principle. He does it because Tamaki’s style is too crude, too loud, too obviously fascist. It lacks the plausible deniability of parliamentary language and policy papers. Seymour’s bigotry comes in bullet points and press releases. Tamaki’s comes with fire and fury. The difference is one of method, not mission.
And yet, it is important, even essential that Seymour condemned Tamaki’s vile spectacle. Because when someone starts burning symbols of peace in public spaces, the bar for moral clarity drops to the level of "Please don’t start a holy war in Queen Street." It’s just a shame that Seymour’s condemnation feels less like moral courage and more like brand differentiation.
The real tragedy is what this theatre distracts from. While the media cover the standoff between two egos masquerading as ideologies, the country continues to fracture. Hate crimes rise. Migrants are scapegoated. Māori rights are dismantled under euphemisms. Poverty tightens its grip on children. And the average voter is told it’s all too complicated, too messy and best left to the men in suits and megachurches.
But here's the rub: when people like Tamaki take to the streets and people like Seymour take to Parliament, they are not opposites, they are collaborators in a slow erosion of decency. One blames minorities; the other defunds their support. One burns symbols; the other erodes rights. One screams; the other drafts policy. The effect is the same.
So, yes, Seymour has every right to condemn Tamaki. And Tamaki has every right to preach his gospel of bigotry. That’s democracy. But we, too, have rights. The right to call out hypocrisy when it dresses up as heroism. The right to demand a politics that doesn’t pit one marginalised group against another. The right to say: “We see you. Both of you. And we’re not buying it.”
Because when men like Tamaki and Seymour fight, it’s not a clash of good and evil. It’s just a fight over who gets to wear the crown of cruelty.
A Letter From God
Subject - A Gentle but Firm Reminder (Yes, I’m Watching)
Kia ora Brian,
Hello David,
I trust this finds you both well, although from recent headlines, it seems you’ve been very busy, not with loving your neighbour or feeding the hungry, but with burning flags and debating whether colonialism is a clerical error best ignored.
First, let me be absolutely clear: I didn’t ask for any of this.
Brian, my son, I admire enthusiasm. But I didn’t send you to Earth to scream at traffic, desecrate the symbols of other faiths, or cosplay as a Christian warlord outside a Whitcoulls. The Gospels - remember those? - don’t feature Jesus pouring petrol on a rainbow flag. He was a fan of inclusion, healing, and turning over tables in the temples of greed. Your recent performance in Queen Street, on the other hand, looked less like a sermon and more like a YouTube channel headed for a deplatforming.
As for your claim that immigration is destroying Aotearoa’s moral fibre, might I remind you that I’ve always been very fond of movement. Abraham? Migrant. Moses? Refugee. Jesus? Technically an asylum seeker before he turned two. If you find yourself preaching “go back where you came from,” you may want to reflect on how often I moved My people into unfamiliar places for growth, testing, and compassion.
And David. Oh, David. You, too, have invoked My name, if only indirectly, by championing a kind of “moral clarity” that conveniently aligns with dismantling state care, flattening Treaty protections, and converting empathy into an economic externality. You speak eloquently about freedom, but not once have I heard you speak with true humility. You champion "personal responsibility" while carving public services to the bone and calling it virtue. It’s impressive how often you invoke reason and how rarely you deploy wisdom.
Now, don’t get Me wrong, I’m still a fan of free speech. It’s one of My better inventions. I want everyone to have a voice. But when that voice is used to ignite fear, deny dignity, or punch downward at the most vulnerable, please don’t pretend it’s in service of Me. I do not require defenders. Least of all ones who use My name to kick down the ladder behind them.
Let Me clarify a few commandments, since they seem to have become... optional:
Love thy neighbour does not include conditions. It’s not “love thy neighbour if they’re straight, Pākehā, Protestant, and economically productive.”
Blessed are the meek was not intended as ironic.
Render unto Caesar does not mean "cut public funding for the sick."
And no, I never said “And lo, let there be tax cuts.”
Here is what I did ask of humanity -
To act justly
To love mercy
To walk humbly with Me
None of these require a megachurch, a debating trophy, or an ACT Party press release.
Brian, you have turned My teachings into a loyalty programme for angry men. David, you’ve reduced morality to a ledger line in Excel. Both of you are clever enough to know better. But cleverness without kindness is nothing more than noise. And I didn’t call you to be clanging cymbals.
You seem to believe you are warriors in a culture war. But wars of culture leave everyone worse off, except the proud, the loud and the cruel. It’s easy to perform righteousness; it is harder to practise compassion. And the poor, the marginalised, the migrants, the queer kids who watched their identity go up in flames last week - they are still Mine.
So please. Before you next march, or debate, or legislate, pause. Ask yourselves - are you building a world of love or simply a platform for your own egos? Because in the end, the question I’ll be asking is not how loudly you spoke, but who you listened to, how you treated the least among you, and whether your hearts were open or merely loud.
You both have souls capable of redemption. I suggest you use them.
With persistent grace (and a little divine frustration),
God
(Creator, Not a Member of Your Political Movement)
P.S. The rainbow? That was My idea. You're welcome.
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