What Would Jesus Do? More Like This, Mr Luxon.
A Godless Heathen on the Prime Minister Who Finally Asked - What Would Jesus Do?
I didn’t see it coming. Not in this lifetime. Not in this political climate. But here we are. Christopher Luxon, former CEO, staunch Christian and Prime Minister, has finally done what many of us cynical reprobates never expected:
He governed like Jesus mattered.
No, not just in that vague “values” way politicians use to bless tax cuts for billionaires. I mean he actually opened the Gospel, looked at the Sermon on the Mount and said - “Alright then, let’s give it a crack.”
It started quietly. A new policy here, a budget line item there. But soon, it became clear: something had changed.
The Miracle of the U-Turn - From Austerity to Abundance
First came the budget. No longer a hatchet job on the poor, but a balm. Benefit levels were lifted above the poverty line for the first time in living memory. Child poverty plummeted. Free school lunches expanded. The Ministry of Housing started building homes again, not “incentivising” the private sector to trickle down empty promises.
Luxon stood at a press conference and said, calmly -
“I’ve been reflecting on Matthew 25. When Jesus said, ‘Whatever you did for the least of these you did for me,’ I realised we’d been failing. And I’m not here to lead a government that fails the hungry, the sick, the imprisoned, the stranger.”
Reader, I spat out my fair-trade soy flat white.
The Kingdom Come to Kelston
There was outrage from the usual quarters. Free-market purists wailed. Lobbyists clutched their pearls. Talkback radio briefly tried to label the new approach “Christian Communism,” before giving up and playing ABBA.
But the people felt it.
Low-income families in Porirua had warm homes. Rangatahi in Kaitaia had jobs in renewable energy and pathways into free tertiary education. A nurse in West Auckland no longer had to work double shifts to afford rent.
And it wasn’t just “throwing money.” It was a cultural shift, a government that finally stopped punishing the vulnerable for being born into hardship and instead asked how it could help.
From Pulpit to Policy - Faith with Feet on It
Luxon’s government began holding regular hui with faith leaders, community advocates and the poor themselves. Not to preach at them, but to listen. Out went contracts to consultants. In came investment in community-based care, kaupapa Māori health services, and restorative justice.
And here’s the kicker - crime went down. Suicide rates dropped. Trust in government - imagine it, actually rose.
The free market didn’t collapse. The sun still came up. And somehow, billionaires survived paying a fair share of tax.
The PM even turned down a free VIP ticket to the Davos Forum, saying, “I’ll be spending that week visiting families impacted by our new disability policies. It’s where I need to be.”
Was he still Christian? Absolutely. But now, it was visible not in what he said in his nauseating love-fest with that titan of tolerance and compassion for the least (Hosking), but in how the most marginalised New Zealanders lived.
Love Your Neighbour As If It Were Policy
As a godless heathen, I must confess - this version of Luxon has me shaken.
Not because I’ve suddenly found God, but because I’ve seen what it looks like when a politician stops using faith as a PR filter and starts applying it like a wound dressing.
Jesus, as I understand him, didn’t ask for private equity firms to run foodbanks. He didn’t preach about market efficiency. He didn’t demand a productivity commission report before feeding the hungry.
He washed feet. He welcomed the poor. He healed the sick for free. For once, a Christian politician stopped spiritualising compassion and started institutionalising it.
In the End, We All Benefit From Grace
It turns out, when you care for the least, you lift the rest. Poverty becomes less inevitable. Despair less prevalent. Inequality less grotesque.
And even cynical non-believers like me are forced to admit, if this is what Christianity looks like in policy form, sign me the hell up. I’m still not going to church. But I’ll vote for one that builds a country where mercy governs, and justice is budgeted.
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